BLACK EYED, GHETTOFIED FRIDAY

So Friday morning BEFORE 4 a.m., soon to be Mr. Waterpixie and I headed off to WalMart in Ypsilanti...::shudder::

I thought that you know, being that I'm getting married and all, I would do the whole fun, crazy, domestic bargain shopping thing and get there right when they opened at 5 for their 'DOOR BUSTER' deals.

NO FRIGGIN SHIT!

We got there and waited in a line that extended to the back of that flippin redneck palace for 10 freezing minutes.... I was undaunted, caught up in the moment of all these excited shoppers. Tango looked around uneasily - not having quite so much faith in the civilized crowds as I. Wearing my long wool coat, fur brimmed hat and fur lined gloves, cheeks rosey I know I positively radiated excitement. Looking over at T my heart went out... um... jeans, sneakers, leather coat - that's it babes. No hat, no glovies.. nothing. I could visibly see him shivering. Awwww... poor baby!

HOT DAMN!! THE LINE'S MOVING... enough of the poor baby this and that!! Get me in the friggin store!

About halfway up we heard a HUGE commotion and the line stopped moving.. Now you'all thought I use colorful language??? You ain't never heard nothin like this before... holy hell. Well, the line started moving again - frikkin finally! Looking over through the front windows I could actually see people RUNNING... flat out running back to the electronics section. I couldn't freakin believe it.. my eyes got wider by the second as I actually saw people being pushed and shoved out of the way as these crazy frantic shoppers fought to be first in line.

We got to the door and holy hell in and handbasket!!! The maniacs had frikkin torn the door... YES THE BIG, HEAVY, AUTOMATIC DOOR.... off it's hinges!!! It was hanging off to the side kinda balanced on one of the handrails. My mouth hit the floor. Tango and I were literally CARRIED THROUGH THE DOORS by the masses of sale crazed nimrods. I looked to the right where everyone was headed and then straight ahead where uh... no one was headed. Tango grabbed my hand and yelled "COME ON".... running to keep up with him... (not sure if he was caught up in the moment or if we were in fear for our lives at this point) ... I followed.

I heard Tango say "hot damn!" and looked up ahead..... Ahhhh!!! ::trumpets blare:: there ahead of us was exactly what we had come for...... undisturbed as of yet by the masses of crazed animals... the $68 personal DVD players. We grabbed what we needed and made to beat feet up to the front. SCCCCRRRREEEEEECHHHHHH!! Around the corner came a pregnant woman with 2 toddlers, a 2 flatscreen TV's, pajamas and who knows what the feck else, going about 90 miles an hour. She cornered that cart like it was on rails with one toddler in tears and the other one wide eyed with his arms in the air like he was on a rollercoaster at an amusement park.... all crammed into the buggy along with various other crap she kept throwing in.

In went 3 of the DVD players...Poor kids...

Now I ask friends... is this any place for toddlers?? It was worse than a mosh pit at a Metallica concert!! ::shaking my head::

Well, we got the hell out of there as fast as we could go. As we were leaving I heard one of the girls say something about security having to control an irate shopper that had ASSAULTED a worker because there were no more laptop computers....ASSAULTED!!! Hope the hell they're paying these kids overtime.... dang!

::smooches::
Mara

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts... it's been a hell of a couple of weeks trying to keep up and catch up work due to the holiday weekend. But never fear...there's more to come.