15 WAYS TO HAVE FUN IN WALMART
Hello Friends!!
For any and all that happened to miss it... I have huge issues with WalMart. If you would like to read about it go to my August posts under 'Fecking I Can Do It Syndrome'. Miss Mara doesn't know how to do links in her posts LOL.
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper! in here!"
::smooches::
Mara
19 Comments:
At 7:12 AM, chesneygirl said…
I have seen these many times....but they still crack me up EVERYTIME!!
My personal favorites are #4 & 15
Thanks for the laugh! :)
At 7:34 AM, Captain Flak Paperpants said…
Nice blog, Mara! I must admit that Wal Mart is totally useless.
At 7:42 AM, Chedder Fish said…
Thank you for making my day so much better! And now giving me a new blog to keep up on!
At 7:43 AM, Aisha T. said…
Hehehe...a good way to start the day. Wal-Mart bashing.
At 7:59 AM, Thomcat said…
i doubt george w. has the qualifications to be a Walmart greeter ...
At 8:00 AM, Anonymous said…
Ha. Now that last comment was funny.
At 8:04 AM, Fuckkit said…
Guns in the supermarket? Seriously??
At 10:05 AM, Mara said…
::laughing:: Brother Esquire!! You always pick up where I leave off. You know I'll be dialing #167... hell I may even make a special trip.
At 2:48 PM, oregoncelticlady said…
You are obviously a wild, succulent woman!!! Love your humor! Visit me @ celtic lady's rants.....NO, not because I want to sell penile enlargement cream or get you to work at home for hundreds of dollars a day but just because I am new to this and need visitors *laugh*...
At 8:52 PM, FU said…
remember when paris hilton thought wal mart sold walls?
now SHE should work at walmart.
At 9:44 PM, Bright-Eyes said…
I like the condom one and the gun one. Love it. But they wouldn't get it.
BTW, is it the law that you have to old and slow to work in Walmart?
Also...PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE someone pick up the walmart phone and do something. I can't, I'm black, they'll arrest me. heh heh heh
At 8:40 PM, David Stehle said…
I put about 10 packs of jumbo size Trojans in my Mom's cart before. She is so clueless that she didn't even notice until the checkout girl was ringing the first box up and I couldn't keep a straight face. My Mom is easy to mess with - too easy.
Oh yeah, I also threw in a pack of Depends diapers. I was obviously bored.
At 2:35 PM, A Bronx Tale said…
number 15 and 1 are just unreal....
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
At 4:15 PM, S said…
Now THAT was funnty!
At 11:58 PM, Kanishk | कनिष्क said…
have u ever tried any of these things..?? i m literally ROFL while reading it..just trying to visualize myself doing each of them.
At 10:03 AM, honkeie said…
I am sooo going to do the condom and "pick me pick me" thing next time I go lol.
At 11:10 AM, melmar said…
lol! I'm adding your link to my blog. Very entertaining.
P.S. nice HNT pics!
At 4:41 AM, EXSENO said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 2:51 PM, The Zombieslayer said…
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
Now, this could be interesting. :)
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