My Friends Complicate Everything.... Even Disney World.

Over the weekend I thought and thought about what I was going to post on my freakin (excuse me... FORESKIN) blog today and finally decided to relay a story from this past April.

I went down to Florida with a group of friends around spring break... it's become a tradition ever since high-school. We've gone year after year and inevitably get into some kind of trouble every time: drunk with the Canadians at 16 and the parents had to take me to the ER for an allergic reaction to beer (try explaining that one), bungy jumped for the first time and screamed my bloody head off, snorkeled with sharks for the first time and hyperventilated though the snorkel to the point of black out..... good times people... good times.

ANYWAY... this year I went down with my usual group of girls, doing the usual bunch of things we usually do while we're down there. Before I left I had gone to Media Play hoping to get something entertaining for the CD player on the drive down (half the fun is driving down people).... flashing the other cars, video taping other drivers (amazing what people will do in front of a strangers camera). Well I had some music along with Monty Python (completely Spanish Inquisitionlicious), Bill Engvall (something about Dorkfish - huckin filarious), and good ol' Larry the Cable Guy.

Now if you've never listened to Larry the Cable Guy here are a couple of pointers... he's disgusting, racist, biased and absolutely the biggest fucking hilarious redneck I have ever heard. Midget prostitutes, fat ladies in hammocks - yeah, they call that a T-back, and retards in the Bass Pro Shop.

So the bit about the retards in the Bass Pro Shop had the entire car just rolling every time we heard the damn thing. I laughed until I thought I was gonna friggin piss my pants. In it he talks about doin community service for a drunk driving charge by driving retards back and forth to Sunday School.... it is so freaking terrible, politically incorrect, god awful... and probably the funniest thing I've ever heard!. So on the way back from church he goes into a bit about taking them into the Bass Pro Shop....he's trying to keep them from eating the stink bait when an advertisement comes over the intercom with "50 CENTS OFF WIGGLE WORMS"... then he's got the whole group of them screaming "WIGGOW WUURM, WIGGOW WUURM".... Now if you could hear this you would be dying too.

So about the third day into the trip we head off to MGM studios. My parents usually come down about the same time because I have a sister that's still in school... she brings a friend.. it's a family thing.. blah blah blah.. Anyway, we usually meet up with them somewhere along the way... and this time it was MGM studios. HERE'S WHERE IT GETS GOOD.... so we pull up to the parking attendant booth... me on the right side and dad on the left. We had just been listening to Larry and the attendant looked in and asked a question to my friend Kathy... "Where did you ladies come from"... Kathy (I could have strangled her) used her best re-knob voice and screamed MICHIGAN!!!.... which ensued a resounding and VERY LOUD chorus of WIGGOW WUURM, WIGGOW WUURM, WIGGOW WUURM... accompanied by convulsive bodily movements and drooling from the crew in the back of the vehicle. The guy gave me a sympathetic look and said.... "Oh... you're from the school?". I didn't quite hear him... but Kathy did and began screaming "WUURMS IN DA SCOO, WUURMS IN DA SCOO". I just wanted to get the hell out of there.. completely embarrassed.. red faced and ready to die. I went to hand him the $8.00 to park and he told me it was taken care of and to follow the parking lot to the right. I thought Mom and Dad had paid for me to park.. they're always doing sweet stuff like that........ not the case. When I reached 'said parking lot' I found to my utter MORTIFICATION that we were INDEED with the SCHOOL. A 'SPECIAL' school from MICHIGAN was visiting Disney MGM Studios and the parking attendant had actually BELIEVED we were part of the group. I could have died....

God.. I'm tired just retelling that..

Anyway, it was the joke of the century and always gets brought up when the friends get together and the wine is flowing..

Just thought I'd share another day in the life of a pixie.

::smooches::
Mara