Broken Hearted Mara...

Have you ever loved so hard that when it ended you felt your heart was truly broken. Not broken as in tears, sadness, fear or insecurity. Broken as in there is a part of you that will never be able to be repaired. Do people die of a broken heart? ::sigh::

I sat for hours last night at my piano, fingers slowly pulling out the notes to what was our song. The sad melody filled my mind and soul with memories of what was, could have been and suddenly died. It's been a long time and I still lie awake endlessly, night after night, waiting for the even rhythm of his sleep to lul me into mine.

Live every moment as if it were your last my friends.

Let him or her sleep that extra few minutes, share the last scoop of ice cream, fall asleep curled in the chair together ....and never, ever, just say goodbye.

{I miss you}

::smooches::

Mara

The Sin of Micro-kinis

As I review again the events of this past weekend I feel compelled to share my pain.

First a series of questions my friends:

1. Why is it wrong to wear a bikini to the beach?

2. How does being thin and wearing a bikini instantly qualify one as a bitch?

and finally..

3. Is... "UH... nice suit" really a pick up line?? wtf!

So here it is in a nutshell. I went to the beach with some friends this weekend. I was prepared to have a fantabulous time.. it was a beautiful day, 98 degrees, sunny... yadda yadda yadda. BUT..... when i stripped down to my bikini the entire friggin day took on new meaning! Admittedly it's small - but everything's covered..er sort of......

I have to say, I'm a little more than pissed with the bloated, bitchy cellulite queens that LOVE to criticize people like me. Apparently having a nice body qualifies you as: disgusting, slut, bitch and nasty...among other colorful word vomit. Since when was taking care of your body a sin? Good God NO - Let us all go on a two week Sally Struthers twinkie binge and pop the elastic in our 2X Kathy Ireland Kmart underpanties! COOOME ON LADIES! You're sick of people like me? Well I despise people like you.

As if that weren't bad enough I have Mr. 'English Wasn't My Best Subject' standing, blocking my damn sun and offering to rub sun lotion on me. Get the hell out of my sun and use those meaty paws to rub something useful...... just don't do it in public!

I've come to the conclusion that bikinis bring out the worst in everyone. The women, porky little harpies, hate me. The men, drooling illiterate oafs, want me. And me... well, how would you feel? Did I do anything to deserve this? HELL NO I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE IT!

Blah.... I hate you all
(well, with the exception of a few fabulous friends)

::smooches::
Mara

Freeway Day Spa

Alright, so everyone knows that women are infamous for finishing their routine beauty rituals while in the car. Admittedly I think I'm probably one of the worst. I pretty much have a day spa in my car (prepared for anything as always).

So I'm driving along this morning putting on lip gloss, minding my own business, when some Neanderthal hogarbeast of a human BLARES his freakin clown car horn at me. So, wondering if I missed a light, failed to use my turn signal or had my skirt hanging out the car door ::I'm grasping at this point wondering why the nimrod honked at me:: I brake and look around. Well that must have really ticked him off. He pulled next to me and started yelling out his window... of course I don't know what he's yelling because ... uh my window's up - duh! Well the horrid little ogre follows me to the gas station and hops out. Oh Boy! He proceeds to scream at me about "*#%$! Women putting on their &%^@# makeup in their cars" ::sigh:: and I thought it was something serious. But this guy is irate! Well, never one to miss a golden opportunity for revenge I take stock of the parking lot: 2 business men, 1 woman and kid, and a big construction guy.... So what do I do... LOL what would any girl worth her salt do? I started crying... LOUD... Put the little arm up to fend him off. LOL... The construction guy followed by the two business men came to my aid and the woman went into the gas station and told the attendant who proceeded to call the police ::grin::

This is so fabulous I'm relishing it even as I retell it.

Well anyhow, the police officer was reeeeally nice... um to me. The guy got a ticket for road rage and a warning for harassment. To quote one of my favorite comedians, that little "rich, white, uptight, tofu-fartin fairy" got what he deserved. Mind your own damn business when you're driving your car! Dang... While he was busy chewing me a new one and not watching the road he could have caused an accident.

::smooches all:: Mara