Mara's Mindless Babble

Monday, January 21, 2008

Anger Management

I think I have some anger management issues. I was reviewing my Christmas wish list for friends, family and acquaintences.

Mara's Christmas Wish List:

I wished for Mara to get a gift cert. to her favorite shoe, clothes & perfume store.
I wished for Tango to get HDTV and a new hunting bow.
I wished for Kristofurrr to get his college loan and a new boy toy.
I wished for Mom and Dad to enjoy their retirement in Florida.
I wished for Sis B to learn how to stay in touch with her Sis M (me).
I wished for Sis J to find a new man to replace the fucknut she's divorcing.
I wished for my ex-employer to get cholera and a basketful of snakes.........

Hmmm.... looks like their's a couple little issues I need to work on for the new year.

Oh well!

::smooches::
Mara

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Free To Be!!

Do you ever question your significant other? Ever wonder at the little idiosyncrasies that make them who they are??

Well, Tango has some of those quirks... things that just make me go "WHY? would you do or say that?

You know... like when you're driving through town after a wonderful dinner/night out and he says "That's the house I lost my virginity in".....

Or, him thinking that it's NOT ok to fart in the car but it IS OK to fart in front of the car while the heater is going so the air is sucked in and dispersed with lightening speed - MY MOUTH WAS OPEN AND EVERYTHING!

Anyway.... one of the little things that makes Tango... well, Tango. Is that no matter the time of day, the hour of the night, the temperature of the air, the location of the event OR EVEN that we have only about 60 seconds.... he has to be bare ass naked in order to have sex. I'm talking nothing... no shirt, no pants around the ankles, no hat.... NO SOCKS!!! Totally, absolutely, completely naked.

Hells Bells people, the mood will move him right before we have to leave for work and he'll hustle me into the bedroom and have all of his clothes off before I've even turned around. THEN... 60 seconds later..... he says, and I quote, "I don't know where I put my clothes". What the hell!!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I love the little twitterpated bonergnome for his endearing qualities, but sometimes you just have to go... HUH?

I suppose it's better than some of the quirks other's have to deal with..... nose picking, excessive drinking, gambling....an addiction to orientalwhore.com . But, it still makes me wonder what's going in in his little thinker from time to time.

::smooches::
Mara










Tuesday, January 15, 2008


SOMEBODY JUST SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD
That's a migraine in full force. Oh my fecking gawd!. I've been getting these ever since having cancer a few years ago. First I thought they were a side effect of medication - but - after a while..... and being medication free...... they seem to have become a way of life.
I actually stayed home from work today. I NEVER stay home from work. I was totally down and out from about 3:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. today. It's still there.... I can feel the pressure waiting at the back of my skull.... but for right now the pills I gagged down are holding it at bay.
I would really like to treat them with something besides narcotics. After everything I took to combat the cancer I've become kind of adverse to taking anything that alters my state of mind. I've tried all/many of the migraine meds out there to no avail:
Over-the-counter: doesn't touch it
Midrin & similar: doesn't touch it
Imitrex & the like: LOL... now there's a good one. Certainly it took care of it.... probably 3 minutes after being injected. 5 minutes post injection I was passed out on the doctor's office floor. Apparently these kind of drugs cause a huge drop in my blood pressure.... so lah.... I'm cured, but I'm unconscious.
Herbal: I'm allergic to alot of things and it's hard to find something that will help without causing a reaction or worsening the headache..... though I do drink camomile during a migraine and after if I can without throwing it up.
So... that leaves us with the narcotic coctail, ice/heat and passing out in a pitch blach room. Mind you.... if I get too cold I start to shiver, then I seize, then the migraine worsens.... if I get too hot I throw up and that makes the migraine worsen... hmmmm....just about as much fun as a fart in a diving bell.
So, I'm up for suggestions. Real suggestions... and yes, I've tried the sex thing... it doesn't work.
::smooches::
Mara

Thursday, January 10, 2008

WELL DUH!!!

Alright - I'm just going to make this short and sweet because I'm in such a state of confusion I feel like I'm going ass-over-toenails down the puberty highway..... AGAIN!

Tango and I were in the car driving.... I can't remember where to. (Do you all see how frazzled this has my sassy ass?) When out of the blue, Tango says "Jeezus christ!" and starts squirming in his seat. I'm like "what's the matter babe"?
He lets out a little grunt and says...... AND SAYS..... "My nutsack is stuck to my scrotum"
????????????????????????????????
I say "your nutsack's stuck to itself??"
"No," he says..... "My scrotum"

I'm like.... "Dude, it's the SAME THING"

To which he proceeds to tell me... "No it's not, it's the underside of the shaft"

Jeezus friggin christ! I can't believe that he doesn't know what his friggin parts are... LET ALONE THAT WE'RE DEBATING IT!!

So, I say - with all conviction - "I know what I'm talking about, I passed biology/anatomy - whatever, and I was a big fan of sex-ed (or sex with Ed - however you want to look at it, it was enlightening) Anyway!! I know what a scrotum is!"

Tango says "Well I've lived with it all my life - I think I would know what it is better than you!"

"Fine!" I say... "we'll Google it when we get home!"

Well apparently he didn't take me seriously. However, we got home, made dinner and then he sat down to check his email. That's when I asked if I could borrow the computer for just a sec.

DID I??? OF FUCKING COURSE I DID - I GOOGLED THE DEFINITION OF SCROTUM COMPLETE WITH A PICTURE......

and made it his screen saver........................LMFAO

::smooches::

Mara

Sunday, January 06, 2008


AND IN THIS CORNER......



So, yeah, it's been a long time since I've posted. Just been doing the same-ol-same-ol... day in and day out. You know what that means, yep.... sex.


Gosh, makes me sound like a nympho or something. Oh, by the way, company walked in the other day at a most in-opportune moment... we have an open door policy that apparently turned into an open door exhibitionism policy. Never fear - I was on bottom. They just got a nice shot of Tango's goods.


Anyway - I've been hosting karaoke lately on the weekends. This past Friday I was hosting when a young lady came up to me. She was about three, no make that twelve, sheets to the wind. She proceded to tell me that my singing was fantastic... on and on she went. Then, just when I thought she was done, she looked down at my chest.. made a couple of fists, and said as she began BOXING MY TITS.... "I could bounce these things like Sugar Ray Leonard" Oh my fecking GAWD!


Not only did this little drunken-female-tit-monger do this to me... she did it in view of the ENTIRE bar. Very nice. It's one of the only time's I've wished for a water bra in hopes of drowning her inebriated ass.


Was I turned on... now that I had to ponder. Not for long. I guess I can definitely say I'm straight... balls and weiners all the way.


::smooches::

Mara