TAGGED!!!!!

I was tagged by Aisha , silly girl. Anyway, I was told to find my 23rd post and copy the 5th line....

'So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.'

Ponder it for hidden meaning, subtext, etc....

::pondering:: um... nope.. that's pretty much what it was and what I meant. My advice in reviewing said experience would be to NEVER TRY HOME WAXING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I think I would rather look like I'm trying to smuggle Chubakka in my undershorts than go through that kind of humiliation and torture.

With that said I am to tag five people... he he he
Soooo...

Mmm...beer
Brother Esquire
Leela
Exseno
Kid Fury

Come on down!!! You're the next contestants on 'LOOK WHO GOT TAGGED NEXT!!'

::smooches::
Mara

BLACK EYED, GHETTOFIED FRIDAY

So Friday morning BEFORE 4 a.m., soon to be Mr. Waterpixie and I headed off to WalMart in Ypsilanti...::shudder::

I thought that you know, being that I'm getting married and all, I would do the whole fun, crazy, domestic bargain shopping thing and get there right when they opened at 5 for their 'DOOR BUSTER' deals.

NO FRIGGIN SHIT!

We got there and waited in a line that extended to the back of that flippin redneck palace for 10 freezing minutes.... I was undaunted, caught up in the moment of all these excited shoppers. Tango looked around uneasily - not having quite so much faith in the civilized crowds as I. Wearing my long wool coat, fur brimmed hat and fur lined gloves, cheeks rosey I know I positively radiated excitement. Looking over at T my heart went out... um... jeans, sneakers, leather coat - that's it babes. No hat, no glovies.. nothing. I could visibly see him shivering. Awwww... poor baby!

HOT DAMN!! THE LINE'S MOVING... enough of the poor baby this and that!! Get me in the friggin store!

About halfway up we heard a HUGE commotion and the line stopped moving.. Now you'all thought I use colorful language??? You ain't never heard nothin like this before... holy hell. Well, the line started moving again - frikkin finally! Looking over through the front windows I could actually see people RUNNING... flat out running back to the electronics section. I couldn't freakin believe it.. my eyes got wider by the second as I actually saw people being pushed and shoved out of the way as these crazy frantic shoppers fought to be first in line.

We got to the door and holy hell in and handbasket!!! The maniacs had frikkin torn the door... YES THE BIG, HEAVY, AUTOMATIC DOOR.... off it's hinges!!! It was hanging off to the side kinda balanced on one of the handrails. My mouth hit the floor. Tango and I were literally CARRIED THROUGH THE DOORS by the masses of sale crazed nimrods. I looked to the right where everyone was headed and then straight ahead where uh... no one was headed. Tango grabbed my hand and yelled "COME ON".... running to keep up with him... (not sure if he was caught up in the moment or if we were in fear for our lives at this point) ... I followed.

I heard Tango say "hot damn!" and looked up ahead..... Ahhhh!!! ::trumpets blare:: there ahead of us was exactly what we had come for...... undisturbed as of yet by the masses of crazed animals... the $68 personal DVD players. We grabbed what we needed and made to beat feet up to the front. SCCCCRRRREEEEEECHHHHHH!! Around the corner came a pregnant woman with 2 toddlers, a 2 flatscreen TV's, pajamas and who knows what the feck else, going about 90 miles an hour. She cornered that cart like it was on rails with one toddler in tears and the other one wide eyed with his arms in the air like he was on a rollercoaster at an amusement park.... all crammed into the buggy along with various other crap she kept throwing in.

In went 3 of the DVD players...Poor kids...

Now I ask friends... is this any place for toddlers?? It was worse than a mosh pit at a Metallica concert!! ::shaking my head::

Well, we got the hell out of there as fast as we could go. As we were leaving I heard one of the girls say something about security having to control an irate shopper that had ASSAULTED a worker because there were no more laptop computers....ASSAULTED!!! Hope the hell they're paying these kids overtime.... dang!

::smooches::
Mara

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts... it's been a hell of a couple of weeks trying to keep up and catch up work due to the holiday weekend. But never fear...there's more to come.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING HNT!!

Do you want.....

Breast
Thigh
or
Leg

::smooches::
Mara

If you aren't already in the HNT game visit this guy, Osbasso, he's the king.

HOW MUCH OPRAH........ IS TOO MUCH OPRAH???

This is a question that has plagued me for over a week now ever since the last shopping trip with Ann.

Ann, by nature, is somewhat of a um..... follower type of person. She's several years older than me and so she has the whole wife/hubby/kids thing going on. She's pretty much perfect at it. Stay at home mom, immaculate house, dinner on the table by 5:30 every night, carpool, sunday school teacher... yup that's Ann.

So last Saturday when Ann and I went out shopping she and I were chatting in the car on the way to the mall about buying jeans when she said...

"I think I'll wait until I watch Oprah on Monday before I buy any jeans"......

Well I gave her this kind of confused look and she explained that Oprah was doing a special on the best jeans for different body types that coming up Monday. ::shrug:: Ok... if you want to wait and consult Oprah about your jeans that's fine.. to each their own.

Well... we got into the mall and the first thing we did was hit the Philosophy counter in Nordstroms...... Why? Because that's the skincare line that Oprah uses. Well, Ok, I can appreciate that. I mean after all, the woman does have great skin. Well Ann procedes to get what she needs and then purchases an entire skincare system for her son who developed a couple of pimples on his hormone raging pre-teen skin!!! She dropped just shy of $200 on a few bottles of facial cleanser. My mouth dropped.

Meandering our way further into the mall we stopped to get some of those 'cinnamon almonds' because "Oprah loves these"... uh huh. So Ann hops in line while I become distracted by the Santa Clause display (friends, you must understand.. I still sit on Santa Clause's lap every year and have a picture taken... I LOVE Santa Clause) but what really distracted me was the fact that they had brought in live reindeer for the weekend - SWEET!) After petting these adorable beasties I cruise back over to the 'nut booth' and as we're standing selecting these sugared, Oprah endorsed delacicies, Ann begins to give me this disgusted look. Well, I raise my eyebrow and give her a look like 'what's up?? Bad nut or something?' Well she pays for her nuts and I walk over next to her to get some on my own and it hits me.... OMG.... something smelled friggin RIPE! Cringing I looked at the reindeer display just in time to see the damn thing plop down a shit that would make an elephant proud! I looked over at Ann and notice she's taken a step back from me... WTF! So I pay for my nuts and we both turn to leave... out of earshot of the nut shoppe Ann says, "What the heck did you eat?". I just stared at her for a second or two and then started laughing hysterically. Like a child I took her hand and led her over to the reindeer exhibit.... the smell worsened with every step we took.... until finally we stood infront of the darling beast and it's amazing pile of excrement. I thought Ann was going to hurl... she's not exactly the 'country gal' type. LMAO... lets just say we were outta there faster than the fat kid in dodgeball.

Exiting the poopie scene on we went to Marshall Fields. Upon entering the store Ann said..."I need to stop at the Clinique counter and get some hand cream. Oprah has it on her list of favorites for combating dry skin. I have dry skin". Well ALRIGHTY then.... Finishing her purchase Ann wandered deeper into the cosmetic section (this is the part from the previous blog entry where we came out painted like french whores). Spying the Bobby Brown counter Ann said "OMG!!! Bobby Brown! I have to stop and look at their lipstick. It's the kind that Oprah uses" Well OF FREAKIN COUSE IT IS!!! $52 on a lipstick pallet people... ::sigh:: Now you see... I know Ann, she's a chapstick fanatic... she'll never use this lipstick and even if she does it will be gone in 20 minutes because she'll have wiped it off to put more chapstick on.

After leaving cosmetics was the frightening nightmare of dodging bullets through the perfume section (also outlined in the previous blog entry). Exiting the perfumes we were heading for the door when Ann says "WAIT!! I almost forgot something!" Dashing like a mad woman back through the store (remember folks we have to be home by 4:30 to start the 5:30 dinner) she finally stopped at the lingerie section and turning she said.....::dramatic pause:: "I just have to get some of these underwear.. they're kinda pricey ($32) a pair, but THESE ARE THE KIND THAT OPRAH WEARS!!"... well that just frikkin did it. OPRAH UNDERWEAR?? Do the words 'stalker, unhealthy obsession, fatal attraction mean anything to you!!! Holy Mother of God!

::still shaking my head:: Oprah underwear... WHERE DO I FIND THESE FRIENDS!!

::smooches::

Mara

*******************************************************

On another note... I'm going to share a fabulous recipe for Thanksgiving. This idea was given to me by femi-mommy who has a FABULOUS BLOG and posted a recipe for gooey butter cake on her page last week.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

2 envelopes DREAM WHIP Whipped Topping Mix

2-3/4 cups cold milk, divided

1 tsp. vanilla

2pkg. (4-serving size each) JELL-O Instant Pudding & Pie Filling, milk chocolate

1/2 cup creamy peanut butter, divided

8 peanut butter cups

2 tablespoons Hersheys Chocolate Syrup

4 heaping tablespoons marshmallow creme

1 baked pastry shell (9 inch), cooled

CHOP peanut butter cups until finely crumbled (works well in food processor)

BEAT marshmallow cream, 1/4 cup peanut butter and chocolate syrup until smooth and creamy.

SPREAD marshmallow cream mixture evenly into the bottom of prepared crust.

SPRINKLE 3/4 of the crumbled peanut butter cups over the marshmallow cream making an even layer. -->

BEAT whipped topping mix, 1 cup of the milk and vanilla in large bowl with electric mixer on high speed 6 minutes or until topping thickens and forms soft peaks.

ADD remaining 1-3/4 cups milk and dry pudding mixes. Beat on low speed until well blended. Beat on high speed 1 minute, scraping bowl occasionally. Add 1/4 cup peanut butter and beat on high speed 1 additional minute. Pour evenly and spread into crust.

REFRIGERATE at least 4 hours. Garnish with remaining peanut butter cups. Store leftover pie in refrigerator.


I hope you get a chance to try it... it's pretty yummy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

HNT REDO

I know I've been copping out on the HNT's for these last couple of weeks...

so here you go....

Better Late Than Never

::smooches::
Mara

Happy HNT

LOL... I'm at work and found this.. I thought it was funny as hell.

::smooches::

Mara

THE ALL SEEING IDIOT

Good Morning Friends! Last night the wind woke me up (damn... it was blowin like a $2.00 hooker workin for a tip!) Anyway, it woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to pop on the internet for a little bit and see if I could manage to get my eyes tired.

Checked the blog and several others. Wrote an email to my Mom about Thanksgiving. Replied to several emails... just a bunch of random junk. Still bored and not the least bit tired I decided to check out what kind of chat rooms were open at 3:00 a.m.

Have any of you bloggers ever done the 'chatroom' thingie?? hmmm... ok here we go: Bipolar & More, GothsnVamps, TAMEABRAT, Pregnant and Happy, and on and on they went. Spying 'Advice Given & Taken', I decided to drop in and see why 17 people were swapping advice at 3:00 in the morning. Upon entering I was greeted with 17 seperate 'hello's'... ok.. that was friendly. Well anyway, the various conversations fell back into play after a couple of minutes and everybody was giving and taking, fairly good, advice on any number of topics... pretty tame. And then IT entered the room. Also greeted by 17, now 18 'hellos'. In turn IT addressed the room with something to the effect of ... "I'm the all seeing, all knowing ________" For the time being we'll just call him 'dumbass'. Well Dumbass proceded to say that he had been called to this room in particular from cyber worlds beyond to solve all our woes and give us glimpses into the future. Oooooohh puuuhleease!!! But being a champ I thought... ok.. this should be fun. So I asked 'Dumbass' what was in store for my future. This is ACTUALLY what he did..

::drawing energy:: ::concentrating::

I damn near died. Then he began to expound on my 'reading'. My repressed nature will hinder me further on in life, I enjoy the peace and quiet of a solitary life and will probably never marry. He also saw that I would ... die at sea!

Sitting in the aftermath of those astonishing revelations I was at a loss for words... ME, AT A LOSS FOR WORDS!!! Do you know how hard that is to do. But I just couldn't believe this ignorant little worm would spew his nonsensical word vomit as it if were the biblical truth to an ENTIRE group of strangers.

Well I thanked him for the um...... helpful info and then gave the room my blogsite link where I said I would 'meditate' on the happenings of the evening and respond in kind if anyone would wish to read.... so to the SWAMI in the chatroom ADVICE GIVEN & TAKEN lastnight... from the Nymph... here you go:

Dear Swami Dumbass,

What possessed you to think that you were capable of being entertaining or interesting? You have the warm personal charm of a millipede and about as much class as a bucket of mucous lodged on top of a dumpster in a Blue Light district of New Jersey. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if that pimple on your ass hadn't turned out to be a brain tumor, if you weren't so fat that your cereal bowl has its own lifeguard, or if you didn't have a face that makes your dentist treat you by mail-order.

Clearly, you have lost your fingertip grip on reality and have descended into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. If you're going to say something that ignorant, you could at least fake a stroke. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently." If you weren't intellectually slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through a vat of chunky peanut butter, maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget.


At any rate, thank you. We were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Now get the hell out of here!

::smooches::

Mara

THE SWEET SMELL OF.....

This weekend was pretty decent... no major tragedies - which is a huge bonus in the 'world of Mara'.

Friday night was nothing spectacular. I was kinda feeling blah... think that Tango was trying to share some of his 'cold cooties' with me. I'm not a big one for sharing cooties. If you've got cooties, you need to be sleeping on the couch .... or better yet the guest bedroom. In the guest bedroom your cooties are contained and I can isolate your cooties and call the service to fumigate once you've finished spewing your 'cootie-nastiness' from here to kingdom come.

All things aside, I went to sleep around 10:30 hoping that if I had contracted some cooties I could sleep them off. 3:30 Saturday morning I'm startled bolt upright out of bed to the sound of Tango's pager going off. Apparently there was an emergency at one of his properties that he had to go attend to. Well... I wasn't going to sleep any time soon and I felt sorry for his sleepy, stuffie, cootie contaminated butt so I offered to go with him.

So here we are heading out at 3:30 in the morning.. well, one emergency led to another and then a police situation at another property... blah (Tango - property owner/manager). By the time we finished with all 'said emergencies' it was 6:30 - time for breakfast. We were both laughing because our empty tummies sounded like a couple of growling monsters. We called our usual spot and found they didn't open for another half hour... neither of us could wait that long. Ok... off to the truck stop we go.

I've never eaten at a REAL truckstop... I was quite impressed upon entering at all of the various hoo-ha for sale. You had all of your regular convenience store stuff along with various Michigan souvenir mugs, spoons, hats, postcards, moose (people... you have to be WAY UP before you see a moose in Michigan. There was a case with little crystal ornaments, a few collegiate logo things.... and then I saw it. The rack with all of the bumperstickers... I could hear angels singing and a light shown down upon that beautiful display...... ok, I digress, it was more like a fluorescent can light and the song 'Centerfold' playing a notch too loud... but hey... it was still FABULOUS to me. Tango went and got a seat while I browsed the bumperstickers. Mind you, I'm not allowed to mar the beauty of my cars with these... I just like to have them. And sometimes... when the situation warrants it... I'll paste one to somebody else's car. 10 minutes later, I was the proud owner of 3 new bumper ornaments.... 1) Go Bra-less. It pulls the wrinkles from your face! 2) If you can read this you're close enough to KISS MY ASS. Make yourself useful. and 3) Don't Drink and Park, Accidents cause People.

Happy as a clam (I really don't know what clams have to be happy about - really all they are is slugs in shells... anyway)... happy as a clam I went to sit with Tango and get breakfast. He had already ordered coffee and OJ. We both got the breakfast bar (impressive... a breakfast bar in a truck stop - day-um) Hmmm......Eggies, a sausage, some bacon, some tatoes... ohhh a biscuit and gravy. Went and sat back down and began to dig into the um...... breakfast... eeep.. it was ice cold. We sat back looking at each other and down at the plates and managed to chew down a few bites, gulped down the orange juice and sucked down the Joe...::sigh:: we should have waited for our usual joint to open.

Back at home I got to sleep for an hour before I had to be back up to go out with my friend Ann. We had this huge extravagant shopping trip planned - ohh yeah... retail therapy, pocketbook olympics.. whatever you want to call it, that was our mission. She got to my house at 9 and we headed off to the spa first thing... manicures and pedicures were in order. On the way feeling a little sleepy I suggested we stop at the coffee house... yup... Venti White Mocha Latte with a double shot of espresso... so friggin good.

As I'm getting my nails done at the salon I notice that my hand is shaking just a little.. and was it me or was that little attendant awfully attentive and REALLY wanting to hear how my ENTIRE week leading up to this manicure went??? While in the pedicure bath I couldn't seem to stop my knee from bouncing.. even when Lee forcibly stopped it twice after having to repolish my toes because I bounced too hard and messed him up (....sorry Lee).

On we went to the Mall. (once again the angels sing) Did a whole lot of shopping for things I did and didn't really need...the highlight of the afternoon was the cosmetic section in Marshall Fields. After stopping at every station we were both painted with every available cosmetic product known to man. Oh yeah.. we could have hit the streets in Detroit and... well let's not go there. Walking through the perfume counters was like trasversing a police training course full of snipers. Women hiding behind displays would pop out and assault you with a quick burst of some floral, fruity essence. We were dodging the blasts like bullets trying to make our way to the front of the store when SHE stopped us. Never before had I seen a creature quite like this. Her skin was tanned orangy-brown by hundreds of visits to the fake bake, the crows feet extended from under eyes and the corners of her mouth to meet somewhere in the middle of her cheek. Dark brown pencil heavily covered the over-tweezed eyebrows and an equally dark red lined her thin lips. Her over-processed, bleached blonde hair was poofed into enormous dips and swirls... it almost looked like cotton candy... It was.. in a word, frightening. As her voice rasped out of her aging throat I wondered how long it would be before she succumed to throat or lung cancer and felt vaguely sad.

"Would you ladies care to try the latest fragrance by Ralph Lauren" she said... her melodic bass tones floating through the air.

Magically producing two tester ribbons she liberally sprayed them with 'Turquoise' and waved them with a flourish handing one to each of us.

Ann and I pressed the ribbons to our noses inhaling the essence called 'Turquoise'... my nose twitched and I looked over at Ann. We went to thank Deep Throat and make our way out but in one last ditch effort to make a sale she shoved her forearm up to my nose and said..

"It's a wonderful fragrance, it works with your body chemistry and smells different on everyone.. I just put some more on"

As I inhaled one thought came to mind............

MMMMMmmmm.... Eau de Marlboro Lights.... NICE

::smooches::
Mara

MARA VISITS THE AUTOBODY SHOP

Ok.. let me first start by saying that this is going to be a first class rant because I am so fecking pissed I can't see straight!!

I was in downtown Ann Arbor the other day, PARKED, getting something out of the back of Roxy (I name all my vehicles) when this braindead $2 whore attempts to pull in the spot in front of me and clips the front of my car!!! Stupid friggin reknob! What the hell. There were only 3 spaces in front of me.. that wasn't enough room for you to pull in!! @#$@$@$!!*&%

So I walk up to her window and knock, adorable pixie sweetness oozing from every pore of my body.... "I didn't do it". That's what she friggin said!! I hadn't even said anything yet! WTF!! Well you did it now. How friggin near-sited could you have been ya possum faced dipshit!

Ok.. so anyway I go to call the police, to which the near-sited possum says she doesn't have time to wait around for and that she'll drive down to the station herself and fill out the report (God save us all!) I take her insurance information and blah blah blah.....

So here it is a few days later and I'm taking the car in to get an estimate. I drop off the car and come back, wait in the little waiting area while the gal (::shudder:: wasn't really sure of her gender) went to get the mechanic because he "wanted to talk with me".

Apparently the mechanic took it upon himself to do a complete evaluation of the vehicle while he was estimating the accident repair. Ohhh yeah.. he had a big ole list. With my iritation level already peaked I stood, arms crossed, and listened to him lecture me about my car. About the time the fugly little turd burglar got to my needing to refill my 'BLINKER FLUID' I friggin lost it! Do I look THAT stupid?? I friggin hate being taken advantage of.

I told him that I wasn't worried about WHAT ELSE was wrong with the car, that I just wanted the estimate for the insurance company and I would be on my way. Well.... that raggedy, goiter licking asshole decided that in all good conscience he 'COULDN'T LET ME LEAVE' with my vehicle in such bad repair. WHAT!!! (on a side note... I get regular service and maintenance done to my car.. Tango would have it no other way so I know this is a bunch of bullshit). WHAT!!! CAN'T LET ME LEAVE. OOOhhhh... wrong thing to say you tea-bagging skid mark!

"GO SMOKE A TURD IN HELL YOU KNEE BITING, FURRY LEGGED HUMPER!"... All eyes in their office and garage turned to me but I wasn't about to back down and I wasn't in the mood to be lady-like. "How dare you threaten to hold my Roxy hostage you gag inducing, peckerheaded HOGARBEAST"......... He just stood there.. eyes getting rounder by the minute.

"Fart sniffing, cheapass, rotten-toothed, greasy-assed bunghole sucker! Go blow yourself you spunk-slimed feckface!"

Well.. his face turned about 53 shades of red and purple and finally he just handed over the keys to Roxy and I left... WITHOUT THE ESTIMATE!! Can this day get any better???

So now I have to go to ANOTHER garage and get ANOTHER estimate and probably talk to YET ANOTHER chauvenistic Dillweed. They probably have a friggin macho-mechanic network and I've been blacklisted for forever!!

I think I hate everybody today... blah.... well at least everybody at that autobody shoppe..... not mentioning any names ........Bob's Autobody & Glass

::smooches::

Mara

HNT#8

THE MALE BRAIN

HAPPY HNT!

Sorry no skin this week... been a little busy - please refer to the post below.

::smooches::

Mara

The Proposal

And she said.....

YES!

::GRIN::

Soon there will be a Mr. Waterpixie

::smooches::

Mara

Born on the wings of a silken sigh....

Delicately revealed for all to see....

Comes this week's glimpse from the playful pixie.... Tah-Dah!! My 7th HNT!

::smooches::

Mara

ZEN FOR THOSE THAT TAKE LIFE TO SERIOUSLY

1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.
2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.
3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
5. 42.7% OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
6. 99% OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.
11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHOKINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
23. OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
24. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKEDSOMETHING.
26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.
32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND, BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
34. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?
36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.
37. JUST REMEMBER--IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEARBRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.

::smooches::
Mara