Mara's Workplace Rituals

Ways To Have Fun in the Workplace:

1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha." "Get right on that, Code C."

3) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

4) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

5) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

6) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

7) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

8) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

9) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

10) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

11) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

12) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

13) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.

14) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

15) End every sentence with the words 'in accordance with prophecy'.

TGIF
::smooches::
Mara

Additions from Friends and Superheros

From Brother Esquire:

Make sure to ask for your religious holidays off. When asked what days those are, answer "any day that ends in - day"

If a piece of Office Equipment malfunctions, offer to go get the sacrificial goat in order to appease the Xerox Gods.

Fake a unhealthy interest in obscure hobbies around the water cooler. Pretending to be a Dungeons and Dragons aficionado, or a professional bear-baiter will make you very popular.

Link together paper clips until you have a nice sized strand. Tape them to a pencil. Then attach a food-stuff to the other end. Enjoy office fishing.

2 bottles of Red Day #5 in the Water cooler = Blood Red Water

Every time you get into a elevator, turn to the person next you and say "Have you accepted me as your personal savior yet?"

Well I got to looking at todays HNT post and realized that most of you that visit my site are a bunch of little perverts, adorable perverts, but perverts none the less. So..... for all you sex addicted, latex loving, breast admiring people that relish and laugh uproariously at who-ha waxing pain........... this ones for you!


You so deserve this


An NOW..... here for your VIEWING PLEASURE.....

Meet ....LULU

::smooches
Mara


**DISCLAIMER.... this weeks HNT is an attempt at humor. Any individual that has a moral or ethical issue with the aforementioned material can go straight to hell ...it's funny... get over it.

Jenna's fat fingers and the kitten, Emu, that doesn't like her...

Happy HNT

THE PRICE OF BEAUTY....

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.


It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the was strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my who-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek(Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Who-ha? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to go to the bathroom. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......


****Wasn't that educational friends?

::smooches::
Mara

Renaissance Reminiscing

HAPPY FREAKIN MONDAY PEOPLE!! .... just in case you weren't already jazzed enough.

Anyway, this may come as a SHOCK, but there was really nothing serious to report over the weekend. Yup, I've sat here for the first half of the day and finally decided to just blog about the weekend in general... fascinating I know.

So Friday I had a headache... scratch Friday... we're not discussing it. Thought I was better Saturday Morning... for about 2 hours.... so um.... until about 6'ish... yeah, friggin scratch that too.

Anyway, Saturday evening I went to the Grand Opening Soiree' for a new Turkish pottery store downtown. It was nice...... and by the end.... I HAD A HEADACHE! (do I look a little grumpy here people - we will not go into the details of 'said headache' as they are too gruesome to share). About 9ish I had to do some other errands and tried stopping by a girlfriend's house afterward. Hmmm... after being regaled with a list of the um... 'buddies' she was currently chatting with online as well as the one's she has met in person, I was given the 'virtual tour' of her um.... 'online-buddy-body-part-photo-collection'. I have to tell you people...if it's not impressive... WHY THE HELL DO YOU SEND IT???!!! Jeeze... I kid you not. Moreover, moving past the fact that I was standing there with her merrily clicking through 'said collection' I began to wonder.... what the hell kind of person HAS a collection like this??? I mean not to mention any names , Kate, but wow... that's friggin WEIRD AS HELL.... she has them in categories and everything!!!

Ok.. enough of that.

Sunday I went to the Renaissance Festival in Holly... fully decked out as an adorable fairy I might add. Had a blast. My parents and baby sister went... although she brought her hogarbeast boyfriend... he's like a 6'4" goon... I just don't understand it.. she's adorable and picked him... ::shudder:: He's not even nice and he smells funny... I totally misjudged my sister when I once said "She'll be the best of the three of us"... HA! How could I have ever thought that... clearly I'm the best.. I don't know why I ever doubted myself ::rolling my eyes at my own conceit::

So that's it in a nutshell babes... Headache, turkish pottery, pecker collection and Renaissance Faire... not bad..... not bad at all.

::smooches::
Mara

P.S. I spell check everything before I post it... and the first word for this post that came up is 'freakin' the suggested correction is 'foreskin'.... in accordance with the online dictionary God.. please replace 'freakin' with 'foreskin' wherever necessary in this post. LMDAO!

WANTED: 1 HANDYMAN FOR VARIOUS...ER.... TASKS. PLEASE APPLY BELOW.

Application For Employment


Prospective employees shall be afforded equal opportunity. However making a slight donation
of $50.00 to the receptionist will improve the chances of your completed application making it
to the H.R. Dept.

All information that you release in this application will probably be viewed by the receptionist, her boyfriend, the cleaning lady, our telephone repairman, the pizza delivery boy, and potentially anyone who walks by the desk your application is laying on.

1. Position Applied For: ___ Handyman Eye Candy ___ Handyman Masseur ___ Handyman Cook & Bottlewasher ___ Handyman Groundskeeper ___ (all of the above)

2. Are you a Brown-Noser? ___ Yes ___ No

3. Can you pass a lie detector test? ___Yes ___ No
( If you answered 2 out of 3 questions with a yes please proceed to fill out the rest of the application. If you answered no to any of the above
questions we are sorry to inform you that the position has already been filled. Please toss this application in the trash on your way out of the
building ).

Last Name: _____________________ Middle Initial: ____ First Name: _____________________

Social Security No. ____________________ Credit Card No. ____________________ Exp. ______

Bank Name: __________________________ Acct. No. ___________________________________

Mailing Address: ________________________________________________________________

(Must be the same as your billing address for credit card).

Have you ever been admitted to a mental institution? ____ Yes ___ No

If yes, why did you want to leave there and apply for work here? _______________________________________________________

Have you ever been convicted of a felony? ____ Yes ___ No
( If yes, what the hell are you still doing filling out this application? See above question no. 3 )

Are you married? ___ Yes ___ No

Date of birth: ___________________________

Favorite Drink: _________________________

Horoscope Sign: ________________________

Home Phone: ___________________________

Email Address: ________________________

Do you own your home? ___ Yes ___ No

Favorite Bar: ___________________________

Favorite Color: _________________________

Car Make/Color: ________________________

Cell Phone: ____________________________

Chat Handle: _________________________

Please list any emotional hang-ups that you have in the space below and include a list of meds that you take for this:

__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
I hereby attest and verify that the information I have provided in this application is absolutely false and misrepresented. I understand that any true information which may be deliberately provided by me may lead to disqualification.


Signature:______________________________ Date:_________________________

HAPPY HNT!

Fancy feets.

::smooches::
Mara

Lazyass Lawnmowerman!

Do I look like a girl that has time for bullshit? I mean seriously friends, I work long hours, I play hard, I love harder...

Is it truly so hard to expect that the lawncare company I contracted for the season makes it out to my house at least once a week? I get my grass cut/ they get their money.. seems pretty simple to me. Apparently this concept of this exchange is somewhat challenging to others.

I called said 'lawncare company' on Monday after not having seen their retarded looking, clown car truck for over a friggin week and a half! The receptionist, clearly an escaped metal patient with buck teeth and a speech impediment that would make a deaf person cringe, informed me that I was on their list for a regular cutting. I explained to the gem of society that 'of course I'm on the list, I prepaid for 1 cut per week for the entire season and haven't seen them for a week and a half!' She 'checked her notes' and told me that they had been out last week and didn't think that my lawn 'needed it'. Whoa!..... didn't need it - and just who decided this?

Well anyway I asked her if I would be credited for the cut that they skipped and the reply was 'huh?'.... wow... that's some colossal intelligence right there for ya... 'HUH????... wonder if her friggin eyes were crossed and her tongue hanging out of her mouth when she said it. She didn't know what I was talking about so she got one of 'the guys' on the phone. Good Loard... bad went to worse... First I was talking to the bucktoothed, ditzy, front office bimbo and now I've been transferred to some dillweed, crooked bonered, fartknocker redneck with a 'piss on women' attitude... oooooh I am HOT!

Long story short... I tore him a new one and demanded that they come out immediately and mow the stupid thing.. (you see, there's an issue with my lawn - somehow, somewhere these spiney burs that will actually make you bleed were introduced into the grass... they're terrible and if the grass isn't cut they get out of control).

Well, I get home yesterday to a mowed lawn.... yeah right... nice. A professional friggin lawnservice who's revenge to me was sending some little hogarbeast troll that mowed both my front and back yards round and round in a circle ending in the middle.... My damn yard looks like a couple of bullseyes.. I'm so fuggin mad...

So now I have to call the reknobs again and have it out... I want someone's head on a platter before this is finished!!

::smooches::
Mara

JOKE OF THE DAY!!

Yesterday I heard a woman in the welfare office complaining because she had to wait 2 WHOLE HOURS for her check.....

I had to wait 40 for mine... and WORK for it!! Damn!


::smooches::
Mara

Sexy Mr. Sandman

Fabulous weekend up at my cabin... but it's enough to wear a girl out.

Good Loard I'm tired.

I was looking though some retarded women's magazine and there was an article on sleep.. a quiz actually..

I began taking the quiz and the more I read it the harder I laughed... I was like... ok, is this for a REAL woman.. working or otherwise? Come-on people!!

Question 1: Do you get at least 8 hours of sleep a night? ::laughing really hard::
(sorry... couldn't stop laughing to answer that one)

Question 2: Do you remember your dreams? ::blink::
(what kind of psycho-analysis survey is this?)

Question 3: Do you wake refreshed? ::grin... snicker... LAUGH::
(you didn't think I would make it through that one without laughing did you?)

Question 4: Have you driven while drowsy? ::arches a brow::
(Does first daughter Jenna Bush drive while drunk?)

LOL... anyway, this thing goes on and on and on... so I went ahead.. filled the whole thing out, added up the answers and looked at the key provided. I was given the following information:

POSSIBLE DIAGNOSIS
'Narcolepsy is a disabling sleep disorder that affects 135,000 Americans. Patients suffer from excessive daytime sleepiness; sudden brief episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis, also called cataplexy; paralysis while sleeping or upon waking up; and vivid dream-like images that occur at sleep onset. The disorder is often difficult to diagnose, and there is presently no cure. '

..... I fell asleep laughing.

::smooches::
Mara

JURY DUTY DRAMA

Well, I went to my mailbox the other day and there IT was. A friggin summons for Federal Court Jury Duty selection... WTF did I do to deserve that!!!!

Not only do I despise the thought of jury duty... I despise the prospect of going to the friggin court house, in friggin ghetto-east-detroit, and spending fun filled day after day after day after day.

I thought about just throwing it away and then read the fine print stating that if 'You do not return this form in 10 days we'll send our dogs out with an unholy vengeance to drag your ass personally into our office' ... serious.. that's what it said!!

So here I sit contemplating my options... I've had a few suggestions from friends and come up with a few of my own.. I'll list them and welcome any and all suggestions to get me out of this friggin bane to my existence.

1) Obtain a psychiatrists confirmation of mental instability (this actually wouldn't be all that hard ::laugh::)

2) During jury selection make sure to vocally consult with ALL my personalities before answering any questions.

3) Wear pigtails and smeared lipstick and practice my ADD skills.

4) Explain that due to my authentic Druid upbringing I only believe in trial by blood (that's friggin creepy as hell.. where the feck did that come from??)

5) Stage my own demise.

Well that's about it... as you can see I am in sore need of help here!!

::smooches::
Mara

For everyone who knows me.. you know how hard this is to post. But I'm in somewhat of a mood today.

For everyone that doesn't... Tah Dah!

::smooches::
Mara

ONE ANONYMO, TWO ANONYMI
POST ANONYMOUS ON MY BLOG AND I SCRATCH OUT YER FRIGGIN EYE!

I friggin hate anonymous posts! What the hell! Too much of a pansy-ass, re-knob, nimrod to divulge who you are and from whence you came... yeah... piss on you!

The last thing I need is some rich, white, up-tight, tofu-fartin fairy with an identity complex posting an ANONYMOUS comment on my blog.. stay the feck away!

What's wrong with those people anyway? A blogger identity is FREE!!! AND EASY!!! Stupid little flighty friggin hogarbeasts. GOD... grow some balls for feck's sake!!!

I'm sorry to get so irritated over this friends.. but does anybody understand where I'm coming from??? What's the point of an anonymous blog aside from some phantom sissy spewing their word-vomit and making an anonymous-cluster-fuck of my comments page..

::takes a big breath::

So to all you anonymous bloggers out there.... PISS UP A ROPE AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY PAGE!!!

::smooches:: to all my fabulous friends... and well, hell, ::smooches:: to all the bloggers leaving comments that have balls enough to identify themselves!!

Miss Mara

Joke of the day....

I went into the 7-11 to pre-pay for $5 worth of gas...

The clerk farted and handed me a receipt..

LMDAO..

::smooches::

Mara

FRIGGIN OUCH PEOPLE!!!

I cut my finger ::cry:: and therefore have 'brain-drain'. A small list will have to suffice for today. Damn my friend all to hell for having me cut her hair.. we couldn't find the hair cutting scissors... and it was 'DIRE' that she have this done so we use/I used the big scissors she gave me... cut my friggin 'flip-em-off' finger.. I'm so pissed. Cut it bad too.. the thing wouldn't stop bleeding for a whole half hour. No worries friends... I have a carebear bandaid on it!

Anyway, here's the damn list!


The Zodiac Excuse List

ARIES:
I didn't do it. They dared me to do it. I didn't know it was loaded. I had to do it. I had no idea I was going so fast. It was an accident. It's a free country man. I can do what I want to do.

TAURUS:
It was on sale. I didn't know that it would cost that much. I though I was saving money. I meant to bring it back sooner. I had a sore throat. I've been doing it that way for years.

GEMINI:
Huh? What? I don't know what you're talking about. Who, me? I had no idea this would happen. My (sister, brother) did it. I had a cold.

CANCER:
It's practically a family tradition. I felt like doing it. I didn't feel like doing it. They put something in the water supply. I had a stomach ache. It all started in my childhood.

LEO:
I didn't know anybody was watching. I wasn't thinking clearly, I had a fever. I have special privileges. I had a back ache.

VIRGO:
My accountant told me it was OK. My doctor told me to do it. I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't help myself. My allergies were acting up. It was that damn medicine.

LIBRA:
I only did it because my spouse does it. (He, She, It, The devil) made me do it. I was having personal problems. Can we compromise on this somehow?

SCORPIO:
I was in the mood. It's a tax write off. I didn't think I'd get caught. I didn't mean to do it. No one else has to know about it. Get a warrant. Talk to my lawyer. They thought I was going to die. I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

SAGITTARIUS:
I had to do it or somebody would sue me. My lawyer told me it was OK. What's the big deal? The government's to blame. It's a (racist, sexist, politically incorrect) thing. It must have been something I ate.

CAPRICORN:
It's nothing serious. I was only following orders. It all happened so fast. I had to see a doctor. My job got to me. We really need the money.

AQUARIUS:
Everybody else was doing it. It was the cool thing to do. My computer had a virus. So what? What are you going to do about it? Who cares about the stupid rules anyway?

PISCES:
I was under the influence. God told me to do it. I was doing God's will. They put something in my food. I thought I could stop before any real damage was done. I didn't notice what time it was. I forgot. Did I really have that many?

::smooches:: all you fabulous people... and send me get well kisses for my finger damnit!

Wha-lah... Nothing like a latex mermaid to brighten one's day or .... night.

That's all for tonight.

::smooches:: Mara

Cabins, Rednecks and Nude Women - OH MY!

Looking back and realizing I haven't posted for a WEEK... and for lack of anything better to post.... I'll just give all you fabulous people a few highlights from my Labor Day weekend.

I own a cabin in Northern Michigan (lower peninsula ... you can't understand a word those Uppers say!) Anyway, I went up there by myself seeking a little solitude... and after half the day Saturday was going stir crazy with nothing to do! I tore around on the quad for a little while, layed in the sun, walked down to the dam, picked some berries... blah blah blah. I needed some ACTION!... yeah right.. up in the northern woods of Michigan.

Action in Northern Michigan? Not going to happen. On the way up to the cabin I saw a truck full of rednecks.. the whole front cab and the bed of the truck was full of them. A kid (and I do mean KID people- couldn't have been more than 13 or 14) was smoking a cigarette THROUGH HIS NOSE and blowing the smoke out his mouth..... WTF DO THESE BACKWOODS PEOPLE TEACH THEIR KIDS! ::shakes her head::

I drove to the little store/gas station/diner/pizza joint/video stop... LOL... it's a really small town... aside from the store they have a church/firestation AND THAT'S IT! Anyway, drove to the store to pick up a few supplies and was assaulted by some tobacco-chewing, ain't been bathed in a month, butt-faced wombat of a man wanting to know what a "pritty lil thang" like me was doing in this little town... ugh! Swear to god.. I think the guy had 3 teeth. So friggin gross.

I got back to the cabin and noticed that the neighbors were there... well kind of. Apparently the 'ladies' had ditched their husbands for the weekend and come up alone... PERFECT!! So I drove the quad over there and invited them to come over to my place and play cards that evening. ::wicked little grin:: it's amazing how uninhibited a couple of married women will become late at night with a bottle of Jack and no husband waiting at home. Haha.. we drank, played cards, skinny dipped, and talked about sex - ALOT! In the end it was a great night, followed by another great night Sunday with more of the same. I was almost jealous of the one... Diana... she has great breasts... what I wouldn't do for those. I mean mine aren't bad.. but her's were fabulous.. too bad she has a face only a mother could love.. well apparently her husband loves it because she didn't mention anything about him bagging her head when they got it on.. ::shrug:: I don't know, maybe he looks like a hogarbeast and they compliment each other nicely in an ugly sort of way.

All in all it turned out to be a decent weekend...

I'm going up there again in a couple of weeks... any takers? ::laugh::

::smooches::
Mara

SuperMart Supergirl

As everyone is well aware.. gasoline prices are soaring. Within the first 24 hours of the initial gas price hike, motorists could be seen waiting in sometimes hour long lines, trying to fill their tank before the price reached $3.00 a gallon. It is here that my story takes place..

After work on Tuesday I pulled into a Meijer SuperMart gas station to fill my tank at the VALUE PRICE of $2.59 a gallon. I waited in line for about 15 minutes and pulled up to a pump and began filling my tank. The masses of people were fairly civilized... all playing fair and filing one behind the other waiting their turn... when suddenly this little red civic came whipping in with some wild-eyed, 20-something bimbo, driving loops and turns, backwards, forwards, sideways... just trying to get into the first available without waiting in line..

A little irritated I just kept pumping my gas until...... she cut off an elderly lady pulling forward into her WAITED FOR SPOT by coming in the opposite way and braking to a screeching halt.

I was FURIOUS. First of all.. I love old people. They are the history of the world and should be treated with the care and respect that is their due.

I stopped pumping my gas and grabbed... ::laughing now:: the windshield squeegie.... I stalked over to the little bitch and threatened her within and inch of her life...I left nothing out... I was like a white tornado brandishing my all mighty windshield squeegie threatening to knock her brains onto the pavement.

In the end the bimbo drove away in disgrace and the little old lady filled her tank. I filled mine and waited for her to finish and come inside to pay. I paid for my soda and handed the clerk my credit card and told her to put pump 9 on it. The elderly woman looked up in surprise and protested that she couldn't allow me to pay for her gas. I just smiled and told her I wouldn't take no for an answer.

It felt good to do that... ::grin:: the 'pissed pixie' strikes again.

::smooches people::
Mara